Hello Reader,

There are stories that we tell ourselves. Narratives that we believe in, about ourselves, about the people around us. It can start so innocuously - a job well done, a pat on the back, and suddenly you are MR. DEPENDABLE, or MS. RADICAL. And once you get that label, it sticks. Sometimes we stay with these narratives for far too long because of how they make us feel. They remind us of a time when we felt a sense of accomplishment, and were lauded for it.

But labels can be dangerous. Especially in the social media-driven culture that we live in. We put so much effort into crafting and curating the perfect persona. It’s difficult to distinguish between what’s real, and what’s performance. Don’t believe me? Just look at the LinkedIn profiles in your network and you will find DYNAMIC INNOVATIVE RESULT-CENTRIC CHANGEMAKER or some such word salad. What started out as a creative way to get noticed by prospective employers has taken on a life of its own. Suddenly you find multi-hyphenated introductions in an attempt to distill a lifetime of experience into 5 adjectives or less.

Labels, even positive ones, can stifle curiosity, hinder creativity and prevent us from exploring the extent of our ambitions. No matter how well intentioned, they can contain us in neatly crafted boxes that fit someone else’s view of us. Or perhaps we are the ones crafting the narratives.

Change the narrative

What happens when the label threatens to take over our whole identity? What happens when MR DEPENDABLE becomes overly cautious because he doesn’t want to make a mistake or let people down? So he sticks to the tried and tested methods and doesn’t want to try anything new. What happens when MS. RADICAL keeps trying to one up her ideas to surpass her previous efforts, to the point of burnout? Or she is in danger of taking unmitigated risks without any care for the consequences.

What happens when the label is negative? Challenge someone’s ideas once too often and you are DIFFICULT. Make an ill-timed inappropriate joke and you risk being called RACIST. Raise your voice or defend your position too vehemently and you are AGGRESSIVE. All because one time someone used a term, and that term became your overarching narrative.

Don’t get me wrong, labels do serve a purpose. They have the power to motivate us and remind us of who we are, and what we are capable of. They can be good for our self esteem when we are having a rough day. But too often we start believing in them as if that’s the whole story. Also, as human beings we can’t help but believe in the positive labels while conveniently discarding the negative ones.

So how do we decide which stories to believe in, and for how long? How do we decide to let go of narratives that have stopped working for us and write a new chapter? How do we hold on to that which defines us, but also reinvent ourselves when life demands it? That’s what we are exploring in our monthly worksheet. The next time you come across a narrative that describes you, don’t take it at face value. Ask yourself, is this still me?

Click below to download this month's coaching worksheet.

What is the strangest, funniest, most incongruous title or description that you have come across on LinkedIn or in real life? Let us know! Comment and connect on our LinkedIn page.

One last thought...

All this month we have talked about labels and narratives that define people, and sometimes constrain them. The problem is not with labels. The problem starts when we start believing in our own myth, and stop growing into all that we can be. Each of us has multitudes within us, and the potential to be a new person, completely different from who we were before.

​Reese Witherspoon is someone who has reinvented herself time and time again. And she is not alone. Some of the best comeback stories and second (or third) careers are built by people who refused to be put in a box. Who you are today is not ALL that you will be. So don’t let anyone define you, or stereotype you. Not even yourself. Why limit yourself, when you could be SO MUCH MORE!

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Changing & challenging, absolutely perfect & hopelessly flawed, perpetually a work-in-progress…that’s me,

Anjani

Did you catch all our posts last month? If not, here they are again:

​When praise turns into a label (40 likes, 11 comments)

​The paradox of a successful narrative MOST READ (155 likes, 19 comments)

​When achievement becomes the benchmark (24 likes, 6 comments)

​The identity narrative and how it holds you back (93 likes, 21 comments)

​The paradox of visibility (51 likes, 9 comments)

​When you outgrow your carefully crafted identity MOST RECENT (47 likes, 7 comments)

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