tbc News - Influence

Hello Reader,

Have you ever seen a spider web up close? There is an intricate design that is spun around a simple core framework. Spider silk is delicate and soft, but stronger than steel. There are different types of silk - some silk is used for its strength, for structural integrity, while another type of silk is used for its stickiness and flexibility, to trap the prey in the web. A spider web is nature’s study in contradiction, versatility and resilience. What can spider webs teach us about ourselves, and the web of influence we spin around us?

Think about the people who influence us. Do they influence us in a positive manner, or are they a cautionary tale? Do we hope to learn from them, or emulate them, or are they just a source of entertainment for us - white noise in the minutiae of our lives. Just like spider silk, there are different types of influence and each works differently. The people around us affect us:

With their kindness BUT ALSO their cruelty
With their meticulousness BUT ALSO their carelessness
With their compassion BUT ALSO their apathy
With their vision, or the lack of it

We are just as likely to be influenced by the people we respect, as we are by the people we detest. The question is whether it is a positive influence or a negative trigger.

In today’s attention economy more and more people seem to be telling us what to eat, what to buy, what to do, how to work, how to live, how to be. Who do we follow, and why do we choose to follow them? Why is someone else’s version of the perfect meal/ outfit/ vacation/ day/ life more important than our own? If we could understand that about ourselves, perhaps we could learn how to influence others. And more importantly we could learn how to rise above the influence of others.

The duality of influence

Influence is a tenuous concept. It is fragile, but it is pervasive. The most unassuming people have the most outsized impact. Long after the people who have influence over us have left, our thoughts and actions are still directed by them. And what about the influence that we exert over others - sometimes knowingly, but often unintentionally. How do we make sure that the intention behind our words & actions is interpreted correctly? How do we expand our circle of influence? Is there a secret formula that can help us increase our influence? That’s what we explore in our monthly worksheet.

What do you think? Does this formula work for you? Is there something missing? Let us know! Comment and connect on our LinkedIn page.

Until next month,

Anjani

Click below to download this month's coaching worksheet.

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One last thought...

We are all connected in an intricate web of thoughts, ideas, and aspirations. Each of us exerts a push/pull on each other. Sometimes it's a strong tug and other times it's a gentle nudge. The energy that we put out in the world is amplified in ways that we can only imagine. As the parent of a teenager, I know firsthand how precious and precarious influence can be. From complete trust to complete irreverence overnight - many of us have made this journey, and not just with our kids.

I wish I could continue to be the source of truth in my teenager's life. I wish I could warn her how quickly something positive can slip and slide into prejudice. But I also know that this is a crucial phase in her life when she is figuring out who to trust, who to follow, and when to be skeptical. This part of the journey is her own. And so, the only way I can hope to influence her is to live my values, show her rather than tell her, keep trying to connect and build credibility. And someday, I get to be on the inside of her circle of influence again.